Holidays: Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Delete December from the Calendar

This time of year, I see a lot of gay sites talk about 'coping with the holidays' and our special problems as - er - special people. Honestly, I don't think we have more problems than straight people, just different problems... sometimes. Some of the holiday plans and coping strategies posted on such sites sound a lot like those of straight people.

True, we do have a higher-than-normal percentage of 'black sheep' and disowned folks in our numbers. That's not always bad, though. Look at the articles aimed at 'normal' people to help them cope with the loving relatives they all supposedly have. Being shunned by some families can save mileage on your car, money for otherwise obligatory gifts, and time in rehab.

Long-term readers may have noted that my partner and I have developed our own coping strategies for fun outside the family fold. It's not like we don't have family to spend time with, though. For every condemning zealot out there, there's a relative who considers your peanut butter fudge more important than who else uses the kitchen. Some family members even - gasp! - still love us. If you have such relatives, treasure them. Even if they do still pinch your cheeks.

If you've been closed out by your family and feel depressed, though, consider renting or buying The Ref with Dennis Leary. It'll make you feel a lot better about being absent from what would really just be a table of your enemies. Invite some friends over to watch it. It seems that friends are actually healthier to be around than toxic family members. In many cases, friends are becoming a new family for marginalized folks. Just consider them an extension of the extended family.

Most importantly: remember that holidays fall on the just and the unjust. What happens with them, ultimately, is what you make of them.

And don't go into a mall without backup.

Blessed Yule,

Sarah G